Age 10: My dad is sitting on the living room floor legs crisscross applesauce. He is humming or something. I think to myself, what does Om mean? He was ahead of his time. I think he is weird. I go about watching General Hospital. Luke & Laura were getting married. I had my priorities!

Age 43:
August: I am learning how to meditate. I keep hearing from lots of sources that Loving Kindness Mediations are key to lowering anxiety. I decide to try it. I start my mantra.

“May I be happy. May I be well. May I be peaceful. May I be loved.” I said.

After only repeating this mantra 3 times to myself, my entire face was numb and my Root Chakra had stabbing pains!

“I’m never freaking doing that again!” I said.

September: I learn that horses can be used as partners in life coaching. I am intrigued. I start to see horses everywhere I look. I drive past horse ranches I’ve never noticed before.  The realtor sign I pass every day has a horse logo. The newspaper has an article about horseback riding country. I see two horse statues in front of the mall I drive by often. You get the idea. I wonder if they were there this entire time.

Age 44:
January: I have seen horses every single day since. It’s a puzzle I want to crack. I decide to get coached.

“Why do I see horses everywhere I look? Is this my spirit animal and they are guiding me to know I am on the right path?” I said.

“No honey, its because you are meant to be an Equus Life Coach.” Bev said.

“But, I don’t understand. I have no experience with horses.” I said.

“We don’t have to know why. It just is. It is called focused attention.” Bev said.

I cry. I feel it in my body. I know this is my truth. Then all of the stories come rushing into my head. How the hell am I going to find a horse to partner with? I can’t afford a horse. I don’t know how to take care of a horse. The stories were causing me to be afraid I would never fully be able to express my true purpose.

February: It had been a while since I was on a horse. Thinking back on my life, I have a fair amount of horse experience. I choose to horseback ride on a vacation when it is available to me.  I took my niece horseback riding when she was a teenager. My college was in an Amish town, so my commute to school was always behind a horse and buggy! Our family vacationed at the Rocking Horse Ranch when I was a kid. While on vacation in the Dominican Republic, I decide I should get near a real live horse. You know, just to make sure I actually like them. I barely had time to get my foot into the stirrup when my horse, Moreno, went into a full gallop. A story started to enter my head. A fear that I might fall. Very few instructions were given on how to ride the horse.  I just took a deep breath. I let out a big sigh. I heard something inside me say “Let go of the fear”. I relaxed. Then something amazing happened. I could not stop laughing. You know that kind of full on belly type of laughing. All I could think of was riding this horse feels like True Freedom! After vacation I bask in my newly found certainty that I love being near horses. I do a 7 League Boots Meditation by my mentor, Martha Beck. During the meditation, I am supposed to meet someone. This someone will give me something. This something will help me answer a question. My question was how will I learn to care for a horse? Who did I meet? You guessed it. I met a horse. I knew she was a mare. A large, gorgeous dark (bay) Oldenburg mare.  She had an uniquely shaped white star on her head and dark soulful eyes. She gave me a slate box with a brass ring inside.

March: I create the slate box and the brass ring from my meditation during my pottery class. I decide I should have my own Equus Life Coach session. I have a 3-hour Equus Coaching session that is full of life changing discoveries. I am so excited about all of my recent horse experiences, I want more. I find a volunteer opportunity with Access Equestrian. I apply. I am accepted. I am delighted!

April: I walk into the Access Equestrian barn on my very first day. Who greets me? A very large, gorgeous, dark (bay), Oldenburg mare with a uniquely shaped white star on her head and dark soulful eyes! She did not have a slate box for me, but she was definitely the horse from my meditation! I can’t believe it. It turns out that the markings on a horse are fairly unique. So it’s her. Her name is Audrey.

Now: I know for sure that I will never stop meditating. There is magic in meditation. It is my freaking Super Power! The initial pain and numbness I experienced during my first meditation needed to happen. I needed to thaw out my frozen places. I was never taught to love myself or be compassionate with myself. I needed to practice self-love in order for the Loving Kindness Meditations to have any effect. I have learned that nothing good can touch you if you are living in fear. When you practice meditation, you reduce your anxiety. You make room for the magic to happen! Schedule 15 minutes. Sit down. Meditate. Rinse. Repeat. Daily.

Now, I am not suggesting that you check yourself into an ashram. I am inviting you to make meditation part of your daily self-care. Just 15 minutes. What I want for you is True Freedom! Contact me if you are ready to start your own journey towards True Freedom. 

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